So many things to be thankful for.

Hi All-

The kids first Thanksgiving went very well. Grandma Marta and Grandpa Craig slaved over a hot stove for days I am sure and we had a FEAST. Aaron's pies were very well received and everyone had a great day playing, eating, visiting and just being together.

It is so crazy to think about last Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving we were in Mexico (common theme in our family since our mom died- my dad likes to go away for a family holiday someplace warm and nice and not here) but we were at a swanky very un-kid friendly place that was great, but so different than this year. Of course, the only "child' there last year was baby Will and he had still to make his appearance so I am not sure that really counts... (poor Jane- flying at 5 mos pregnant!).

Anyway, what I want to talk about it the fact that last Thanksgiving we were all done with our homestudy and weighing our options as to which agency to go with. I was really on the fence and had a lot of trouble deciding between WACAP ( a great agency and the one that we eventually did sign with- and they had done our homestudy which made it even easier) and CSS - a very well respected agency in North Carolina. While we were in Mexico we got word that we had been rejected as applicants by CSS. Apparently my medical history (which is very old and ridiculously unimportant in terms of real life but can freak people out who are dumb or dont know better) and they felt that we were not good candidates for International Adoption and that we would not be able to adopt a child. Okay, I was CRUSHED. I wandered around Mexican paradise for 2 days in a daze of tears and hurt. My whole family was there trying to cheer me up -- Pop was offering to find us babies no matter what it took, Aaron was telling me there would be a way, everyone was being as nice and supportive and I was just devastated. I was sure we would never be parents- that a stupid idiomatic seizure disorder from 10 years ago that was long gone was going to keep us out of the parenting world forever. I was so angry that an agency would tell us that we were not good enough to go through the process when we have so much to offer a child(ren) and that they would be better off in Russia than with us etc etc etc. It still makes me super upset to think about this. I mean, we are sort of a catch really- we are nice, normal, well educated, love each other, have great families, have resources, want to be parents, had a parenting plan etc. For someone to tell me that I wasnt good enough was a real blow to my psyche (and dumb if you ask me).

But, I guess everything really does happen for a reason! Because when we returned we met with WACAP again (they had alreay agreed to represent us as they didnt think it was all such a big deal either and that "your pros outweigh your cons") and decided to move forward with them. I was nervous-- what if they changed their minds about us, what if the Russians didnt like us etc etc etc. but we wanted to move forward and so we did. And, you all know how that turned out- our kids, the kids that were so meant to be ours, were able to find us (with some help from Queen Markell and the folks at the MOE and the people at WACAP) and are now home playing as I type this. We never ever thought we would have our kiddos home before this holiday season- we were sure it would take at least 2 years and that we were looking at 2010 before we became parents. Just goes to show how the world works in mysterious ways. Our kids were ready for us now so CSS had to reject us, they dont work in the baby home our kids were from so if we had gone with them we might have missed them! It is all kismet to be sure.

It is hard because I miss my mother more at Christmas time than any other time of the year (which is saying something). She WAS christmas- ask anyone- this was her time of year for sure. It is hard to see the kids get so excited about it and know that this will be our first year with them and have her not be there. It is just really hard. I know that she is watching out for them and I know we have plenty of other family but without her Christmas has never seemed quite "right" for me. All i can do is try to make it fabulous for my kids- maybe that will help this year. I need to get in the spirit though and i am having some trouble there- must be all the craziness in the world!

Anyway, enough of my musings. I just wanted to post how happy I am that we are all home and safe and how glad I am to have my children going into this Holiday season. I am also glad Pop is not in India anymore and I hope that the situation there gets resolved as quickly and well as possible at this point!

SKB