The 12 days of Sasha's birthday continues

Hi All, 

The long extravaganza that is Sasha's birthday celebration continues. Here are a couple pictures of him in his PJ's and one of his sister's hats the morning of his party- we were talking about how everyone was coming over just for his birthday and this was his reaction. This past Saturday was his family party. We had 21 people over to our house for brunch. It was a lot of work but fun. We had not entertained on that scale since we have been home (usually when we entertain we try to keep dinner numbers to 10 so it is civilized and because that is where I like it) and I had forgotten how much work it is to feed 21 people in the way I like to do it. Also, with two kiddos you do not have as much time for prep and set up- that is for sure! But it all worked out, Aaron really helped in the kitchen the night before after the kids went to bed so we had alot of the prework done by midnight and then I was up at 6am to get the rest of the stuff cooking etc. Everyone had a great time and lots of food, laughter, presents. And, Poppy Nick showed up after all! He was alone because Elizabeth chose not to attend but I was very glad he was able to make it because it means a lot to me and to the kids because they love him lots. 

Also, Saturday was the third anniversary of my Mom's aneuroysm. I cant believe it has been 3 years and I still miss her this much. The limbo time (the horrid 32 days between March 28-April 30th 2006 while she was in a coma and then slipping away is harder still for me because I was there every day, all day and I think about it way way too often even now) but I need to remember that she was off in spirit searching for our children then and she found them because Sasha was born during that time. 

I made a small toast to her at the party but got a little choked up but I know she would have been happy to have been there and that she was there in spirit so that helped. 

On to happier things: 

It is so fun to see our kids play with their cousins now that they are less shy- they all get along well and hopefully that will continue. Now that Nas is the oldest grandchild we will see how it develops over time- I remember getting into ALOT of mischief with my cousins when I was a teenager, wonder if the same will happen..... 

Tomorrow is Sasha's actual birthday- which will be very very low key, just regular dinner (maybe a cake for dessert, though we are still munching through the baby cupcakes we had for the brunch) and a couple presents from us. I think we are all birthday fatigued at this point. 

Tomorrow is also the one year anniversary of when we received our referral. Yes, we got our referral on Sasha's second birthday. We had been up at Jane's condo at Mt Baker for a long weekend to celebrate Aaron's birthday- never thinking that we could possibly be missing anything up there in land of no cell phones and as we drove down the mountain our phones started ringing the second we hit range- our coordinator had been trying to track us down for hours and hours and was beside herself. See, we had been told 12-18 months for a referral of healthy siblings so we didnt bother to keep the agency posted as to whereabouts or anything like that, we didnt sit by the phone etc etc etc- it had only been 4 months (and barely that) since we turned in our dossier- we had no inkling we could possibly get a referral that fast. Anyway, it was a crazy day filled with calls to IA docs, emails sent to phones with pictures of the kids, talks about flights, visas etc and we ended up leaving 12 days later to go meet the babies! I remember so clearly having to pull over on the side of Hannigan road because I couldnt drive and listen to Jaimie tell us about the kids, sitting there on the highway and then getting pics texted to my phone because we were still 2 hours from home and I could not wait that long. Oh, it was a very very emotional day. I was so excited, scared, amped up, nervous, scared, happy, scared - you get the idea. I had not emotionally prepared for a referral at all- it blind sided us - so there was alot to get through in the 12 days before we left. :) 

And poor Aaron, his birthday is April 1 -- one day after Sasha's and I can tell you he isnt getting a party at all. And last year he lost out to getting ready to go to Russia.  I feel bad, he is a good husband etc but I told him forget it- maybe next year. Turning 34 isnt such a big deal, he says he is fine with it and hopefully that is true because there is no suprise party in the works. Between work and doing all the Sasha parties I just have had no time for anything of that nature. Poor Papa! 

More later, 

SKB

Sasha's Friend Party

Here is one super adorable shot of Sasha the other night and then there are some cute pics from Sasha's "friend" birthday at the Little Gym. This was the party that was co-hosted by Kate and Christopher and we celebrated Sasha and Esme's birthdays together. It was super fun! Sasha does look a little overwhelmed at cake time but overall he had a great time. 

More Later, 

SKB

The Dreaded "Talk"

Well, it finally happened - we had the first of many (I am sure) talks about the biological family today... Here is what went down. Nas has apparently been mentioning to Aaron recently that it is not "fair" that we hold baby Will. She said Will has Totya (Aunt) Jane and so we should not hold him. This is VERY typical - she is jealous. So Aaron mentions this to me at breakfast today after the kids have left the table to go play. We are discussing this and she is listening from where she and Sasha are playing in the living room. I get up to go downstairs to do my hair and when I come up the kids both come up to me and say "it isnt fair, dont hold Will". 

Now, I have not held Will in over a week - when I did very very briefly at his birthday party. But there have been a lot of birthdays and Sasha's is coming up so it is not suprising this is coming up now. I said, okay, lets all sit down and talk. They said they wanted to all get in our bed and talk there so we did. Nas started off that it wasnt fair that Will had Jane so didnt need me. I agreed that WIll belonged to Jane and Jane belonged to Will, just like she and Sasha were my babies and I belonged only to them. This seemed to placate her a bit. Then I asked her if she was mad that she and sasha were not here when they were babies and she said, "YES!" (I was pretty sure that was what was really wrong anyway) and so I said I was sad too that they hadnt been but that they had been born in another lady's tummy- the tummy lady (I just cannot use the term birth mother- I just cant) and that she loved them very much but was not their real mother so she had to take them to the baby home so their mama and papa could find them, because we wouldnt be able to find them anywhere else. I have no idea if this is the right thing to say but I have been reading about this and it seemed plausible so I went with it. I explained that we had a whole team out searching for them (plays off a book we read where something similar happens) and as soon as they found them we flew as fast as we could to come get them. We were also sorry we didnt find them as tiny babies but we love them so much that it is okay because we are all home and safe now. Then we talked about how far we went for them, Papa pulled out the atlas and we looked at Russia and Novo and Seattle and they got bored so we looked at baby home pictures (which they love to do) and they were happy and took off to play. 

Now I am sure this is the first of many many conversations about this- I guess it is good it is finally coming out but it is hard, all around. 

It is also hard because they obviously compare themselves to the other kids in the family and we just had this super fun big party at Poppy Nick's for Will's birthday and now we are not doing something similar for Sasha- Elizabeth is against it for reasons unknown and not understood by me. And now Pop isnt even coming to his birthday party (because of Elizabeth and her schedule and desire not to attend apparently)- so I am really concerned that my children will feel extra slighted, which is worse than the sting of the slight I already feel regarding this issue- which they don't know about at all. We will have a party at our house and it will be great and I hope Sasha sees that it is even better to be surrounded by those that love you whole heartedly but it sucks all around and has definietley strained things between my dad and I. I know HE loves Sasha but it is sometimes hard for him to make the right choices regarding situations like this- this is why it was so great when Mom was around, she acted as an appropriate social compass and made him slow down and realize what was really important, like grandchildren. 

They say that alot of adoption issues come up around birthdays so this is not a surprise but we shall see where it goes. Nas obviously thinks about this alot and Sasha takes his cues from her - so it could be an interesting month! 

Laid low by colds and snow

Here are some cute pics from Will's 1st birthday last week. It was a great party and here we have Sasha, Nas (as she would now like to be called, aka Ana, aka Nastia aka Anastasia) Harley and MJ sitting on the steps - MJ and Harley are in pajamas because they have to drive home late- our kids are still in regular clothes because we stayed at Poppy Nick's house that night. :) 

Today we are having a "quiet" day at home. We all have a terrible cold and we decided that as it is Sunday and we are all sick it would be best to call it good, stay in our PJ's and hang out. And it is snowing again. The kids are not used to such a do nothing day and it may be starting to get to them- we shall see if it lasts all day. They do like being in their PJ's at 11:45 in the morning. 

The next couple weekends are all about Sasha's bday- next weekend is his "friend party" with all of his little buddies at the Little Gym. We are actually doing a c0-party with Kate and Christopher as their daughter Esme (one of Sasha's best friends) is also 3 this week and we decided it would be totally fine to kill two birds with one stone on this as the same 12 kids would be invited to both parties. Hopefully it will be fun for all. Then the following weekend is his "family party". This should be held at Pop's - just like MJ's and Will's parties were (Nas missed out because we were in Mexico) and Harley missed out for other reasons that are similar to why Sasha is being left out in the cold on this issue --  Elizabeth is simply not into it and feels strongly that as it is not her tradition it is not worthy of continuing..... So we will be holding it here. I have very mixed feelings about this that I do not need to go into here on a public blog but I can say that I am very disappointed that we will not be having Sasha's party at Poppy Nicks- it is by far better suited to this sort of thing than our house is and it would be nice to have it there but c'est la vie I guess. And I really like the tradition of having all of the kids' parties there and I know if Mom was still alive it would be awesome and totally be something we could look back with fondness for years to come but I guess people do what they gotta do and it is what it is. 

Anyway, it will be great and hopefully 30 people for brunch will fit in our house! I am excited to celebrate Sasha's first birthday here and nothing will get in the way of making it fabulous for him. He is turning 3 and is going to be a big boy now! He is very excited and so am I. 

Other than that nothing new to report- I really am going to try to blog more- it is good for me. Now off to the homeopathic pharmacy to try to find something to help Sasha. While Nas can take a low dose antihistamine to help with her terribly runny nose we have found that Sasha does NOT react well to antihistamine at all- he does not do well so I want to find something else that may work as he is a little miserable with this cold. Wish me luck. 

SKB

A night to remember

Hi Everyone- 

I know it has been a zillion years since my last post. I keep trying to post and then get sidetracked. Here are some cute recent pics of the kiddos. Check out how in love Sasha is with Aga- thank goodness those days of being scared of the doggie are over! The rest are just from various days outside in the yard and at the park. 

Here is what is new:

-We are all booked to go to wausaukee in late June and I cannot wait! I am soo excited for the kids to see wausaukee, spend time there, meet all the cousins etc. For those of you who are like "what is she talking about" wausaukee is a place that is very special to me where we have had a cabin for 4 generations. Plus it is where 'grand-nanny' Jaimie lives so that is always a reason to go in and of itself. The kids cannot wait to see her again! It is back in Wisconsin so we dont get there as often as we would like but it is always fun and family filled. I cannot wait- now if I can just convince Jane and Will to go with us it would be perfect!

-Wanted to give a shout out to Joni who is finally safely home with her darling son, Kirill, who is from the same BH our kids are from. We cant wait to meet him soon and hear they are settling in well over in Green Lake. 

-The kids are doing very well- have just been growing like weeds recently - new clothes every couple of weeks to handle it! They are smart and funny and cute. They keep us going from dawn to dusk too- they have a lot of energy and we are happy. tired, but happy.

-Last night was our first night away from the kids. We have been remiss on the whole mommy and daddy time thing since we got home (3 dates total) and we had been feeling like it would be great to be able to actually spend some time together - as someone wise pointed out to me recently "parenting is a marathon, not a dash. So dont act like it is a dash - make sure everyone in the family is taken care of." We were not doing that part very well at all.  So we made a plan to combine a business dinner I had an hour away with a night at a nice hotel there. Beth -- our best friend, Sasha's godmother, resident psychologist, awesome chick who sees the kids once or twice a week as it is (because she spends a lot of time here having dinner etc) agreed to stay with the kids. They were awesome for her. We were SO nervous and I was feeling serious mommy guilt about the whole thing but it worked out just fine. We had a blast, stayed out WAY too late but had a chance to really talk and giggle and hang out and the kids and Beth had a fun slumber party here. We came back EARLY this morning so Beth could catch a train and the kids have been slightly more needy than yesterday but nothing terrible at all. I am really glad we did it and hope we get to do that at least once a year (maybe twice!) if possible. We shall see. :)