Long time, No Post

Here are some adorable pics from our Memorial Day jaunt to Saturna with Max and Family. We had a great time and the kids all had a blast. We made our first 'from scratch' cake and the kids all played super well. And also a pic of Nas at the park by Grandma's house- just because I love this shot- it was a beautiful day, she had a new dress she loved and all was right with the world. So adorable!

I know, I know, it has been forever since I posted. It is too bad because I want this to be a record of our first year together - something I can print and show the kids years from now and I am totally being lame about posting often enough for it to be relevant. I guess some posting is better than none - hopefully they will see it that way too!

Okay- what is new:

WE ARE MOVING. It is crazy but we have decided to finally make the move to Bellingham. We have been talking about moving up there for years- our family is there, Aaron grew up there, the houses are big and cheaper etc etc etc. Honestly I just have not been ready. But life being what it is some business opportunities came up that worked really well for us and that sealed the deal. I was already going up 2 days a week for a client and now have taken on a big new client that would mean I would be up 3-4 days each week. That is ALOT of time in the car. So, we are selling our house here and moving up there. Please hope or pray or whatever that we sell our house quickly and for a good price. People seem to be upbeat about it but in this crazy market you never never know what will happen. We have put alot of work into our house, spent a lot of money on structural updates etc and I know we will not break even but I would really really love to come close. Thankfully we have a ton of equity so will have enough for a down payment on a bigger place- as long as everything doesnt go terribly awry. So, fingers and toes crossed please.

The house is going on the market next week - just in time for us to head off to wausaukee so the agent has 10 whole days to show it clean and happy before kids and dog come home. If it could just sell in that 10 days my world would be so happy! We have been looking at places in the 'ham but have yet to see the perfect house. We have seen a couple that are really great but just not "perfect" and I would LOVE to find one we could stay in for several years. Now is the time for that.

We have been talking to the kids alot about it and hopefully they will be okay. It is scary to move and I know Sasha is worried he will be left behind. It is so sad to me. I tell him about 30 times a day that we are all moving together, all hist stuff is going, we are moving as a family, it is a good thing etc. But I am not sure he gets it. Ugh. Nas is more okay with it - on the surface....

Other than that things are all about the same. The kids are doing great for the most part. We have had some sleep problems with Sasha- he is waking up several times a night and needs to be comforted back to sleep. The good news is that this is taking less time - 10 minutes as opposed to 30 so as long as we can go back to sleep it is okay. Of course the frequency has increased to 3-4 times a night which is tiring but we will get through.

I think we have made a real progress in some areas- especially with Nas. She is much calmer at bedtime and that is great. She seems to be more comfortable with the idea of not being in charge. She is still definitely "willfull" at times but that is her testing us, which is to be expected.

Overall they are such a joy to us that it is great - they are so funny and cute together- I am so glad they have each other though at times, like when they fight, I want to throw my hands up and let them duke it out! I think that is probably normal too. :)

I am so excited for our upcoming trip to wausaukee. Of course it was booked months ago and we could have gone way cheaper if we had waited to book our tickets but you live and learn. And it is at a terrible time in terms of move, new client etc but the one thing I learned from Mom's death was you never ever postpone or cancel a vacation. We cancelled that trip to Italy 3 times and have given up on going now that we are parents. That is really too bad and life is short so forget doing something like that again!

That is all I have time for right now. Hope all is well with everyone!

SKB

potty, potty, where on earth is the potty?

Hi All-

Sorry it has been an age (again) but life is busy! Lets see what is new:

1) The pictures above are from Grandma's big Seder and from Easter morning when the Easter Bunny came. As you can see one event was civilized, with dresses and books and the other was a candy free for all lying back in Pajama's with eggs filled with jelly beans. I think this is probably just as it should be. :) 

2) Jane and I FINALLY went on our girl's night away this past weekend and it was soo soo soo fun. It was just what the doctor ordered- Mama was getting a tad cranky between too much work and too much of everything else and spending 26 hours shopping, spaaing and drinking expensive wine with my darling twin was just what I needed to recharge those batteries. Now if only we could find time every 6 months- that would be ideal. :) 

3) The kids are excited that it is finally warm out- we have been riding bikes alot and we opened up the sand table in the backyard. Mama forgot how much dirtier they get in the summer! It is hilarious to see them after they have been in the sand- I am not sure how they get it everywhere but they do! They are so cute and growing like weeds still - I literally think they grow every day. And Nas's hair is turning sort of red which is exciting because as many of you know red hair runs in my family in some blonde shades so I think it is fun that her hair is also turning a bit red. Sasha is still a blonde blonde just like I was when I was little and they both have cute new haircuts. 

4) We are still having some issues with Sasha at swim class. He is not terribly interested in getting in the pool without a parent and last week when Papa went alone he didnt venture in at all. This week we are back to 2 parents going and I am pretty sure I will get him in there but he may not be 100% thrilled about the idea. He just really prefers it if one of us goes in with him but the whole point of this class is for him to actually learn to swim, not to have him float around on Mama so it is important that he moves forward with it. Nas is doing well in her class- last week she floated all by herself and is working on kicking. :) 

Now the big issue (disclaimer: if you are not yet a parent this may be too graphic and TMI for you). 

Sasha is in the midst, still, of potty training. When we came home and he was 27 mos old he was trained, the baby home way- meaning they limited their liquid intake and 3 times a day they sat on potties for 45 minutes and went then or not at all or suffer the consequences, think training by fear. Once home when he realized nothing terrible would happen if he didnt stay dry he decided quickly to revert to being #1 not trained. He has ALWAYS been #2 trained- that goodness. We figured, okay, he is a boy and he is young, no problem and into pull ups he went. This worked well but as he aged we started talking about how he couldnt wear pull ups forever and we decided on his 3rd bday the pull ups would be history. he said he was okay with this and for the last couple months in pull ups he never even went in them during the day- at all. We thought he was sooo ready. We talked about it, read about it, sang a little song about it etc. So on his bday into big kid underoos he went. It has been both good and bad. This kid will stay dry for 3+ weeks and everything will be going swimmingly and we will think, well YAY, we are finally done and then all of a sudden (yesterday) he will have 3 accidents in one day. This has happened a couple different days since we have gone to underwear FT- multiple multiple accidents in one day. Thankfully all of his accidents are #1 accidents only - I would not know what to do if otherwise....It is so weird- he knows what to do, literally he will be completely trained for a month or so and then boom, all hell breaks loose. We talk about it and he says he doesnt know why he goes in his pants sometimes and doesnt know why it happens multiple times in one day and he doesnt feel bad about it in any way (though I have tried to make him understand it is not cool, he doesnt seem to care)- it is incredibly frustrating. A couple times he has even said he has to pee, gone into the bathroom and stood there and peed in his pants - so it isnt that he is getting distracted and doesnt realize he is peeing or something like that. Any ideas? And candy doesnt work for him - he could care less about that too. I am not sure if it is some sort of control thing or some sort of plea for more attention those days or what - we have tried everything- snuggles, talking, demanding he stop, pretending it was not a big deal, making a huge deal out of it- everything! Any advice? 

Happy Holidays!

Hi Everybody, 

So we are deep in the Passover/Easter season here. Today we are off to Mercer Island for a big big seder at Grandma and Grandpa's house. People have even flown in and it should be very fun. Then tomorrow the Easter Bunny will come (I have this on good authority) and we may go to church down at that nice Episcopalian church on First Hill that would be our church if we ever went enough to be officially affliated with a church--  as well- that plan is still up in the air due to some other commitments.

 

As many of you know we are a blended family and we are not exactely the most observant in any of our religions but it is good to expose the kids to everything and see what they like and so they can learn more about the various faiths that make up our family. 

Because they dont watch much TV the kids dont know about the Easter Bunny but I am pretty sure they will be psyched to get baskets tomorrow and I feel that it is important to also do that as it was always a big part of things in my family. I will always remember the Easters spent in Chicago at Bar and Bob's (my grandparents) where Bar individually wrapped jelly beans in 5 different types of tissue paper (each child only was able to find their own color/pattern of wrapping) and hid them all over their house. I am pretty sure the people that live there now are probably still finding petrified individually wrapped jelly beans! Talk about a lot of work for Bar- I dont have that kind of time but I can at least get a decent basket together for the kids. :) 

The kids started swimming class again this past week. It was pretty interetsing. They were in 2 different classes because Sasha had to be in the 3 yr old class while Nas was in the 4yr old section. This was hard on her- she was very worried about him and kept watching his class rather than paying attention to her teacher. Towards the very end of the class she seemed to relax a bit and listened more which was good. Though she did say she did not like it because they were not together. This is something we expected- they are very very close and it is time for them to develop a bit more independently so this is a good first step. Hopefully this week it will go more smoothly- she was pretty cranky about the whole thing and I would prefer to not go through that again. Sasha was nervous at first but the minute they pulled out the pool toys for his class he said, "see ya" and was off into the pool without a look back. This coming week Papa has informed me that perhaps it would be better for me NOT to meet them at the pool, that perhaps she was feeding off that and my anxiety over it all and he is probably right. So I guess I will just hear the story afterwards. 

Well the dog is barking, the kids need a snack and we are all still in our PJ's so gotta go. 

SKB

Sunny Day, washing the cares away....

Here are some cute pics from the beach and yard yesterday- an abnormally warm and sunny day here in Seattle. Snow on Weds, 70 and sunny on Sunday- crazy town! 

So I have the theme song from Sesame Street in my head. The kids have "discovered" Elmo - and now instead of Caillou they like to pick Sesame Street about 1/2 the time for their TV hour. They watch one show a day usually, usually when mommy gets home from the office and needs to make dinner while papa deals with stuff around the house (I know, bad, but umm, hello you try to make dinner with 2 toddlers buzzing around or skimishing constantly- it is hard). So there has been a fair amount of Elmo in our world this week and now that it is finally sunny I really have the theme in my head. 

Things are good, lots of stuff going on. Gymnastics class is still going strong and now this Weds we are adding swimming (the next in the series of classes) to the schedule. I know it isnt much to have 2 activities, especially while they are still not in school, but I dont want to over schedule them too much! I think this will be fine though - dance class has ended and we did not "re-upp" there. 

I am a bit bitter having received our ridiculous tax bill though. We were unable to take any of the adoption credit because we sold stock to fund the adoption, which made our "earned income" too high for the credit. The result is a ridiculous tax bill based on Capital Gains. Yuck and Ugh. Oh well, at least I sold the stock before the fall so that is good I guess. And apparently as long as we do our WA State re-adoption this year- which we are planning on doing but simply never got around to in 2008, we can claim the full credit next time around, which is good. But still painful to see all those numbers add up and think about the size of the bill. I need the sunny day to wash away those cares! 

My sister Brooks is coming to town this week which should be fun and I am very interested to see how the kids react to her. They haven't seen any pregnant people really (not in person, just on the street or whatever so who knows what they think of them). Anyway, they think all babies come from baby homes apparently- or so they told me. I havent actually disavowed them of this notion- I was waiting until I had to because I am a chicken when it comes to the 'adoption' talk stuff but I am pretty sure they will say something to Brooks because last time they saw her she was not noticably pregnant so they have no idea and here she will show up VERY pregnant so....We shall see! 

The 12 days of Sasha's birthday continues

Hi All, 

The long extravaganza that is Sasha's birthday celebration continues. Here are a couple pictures of him in his PJ's and one of his sister's hats the morning of his party- we were talking about how everyone was coming over just for his birthday and this was his reaction. This past Saturday was his family party. We had 21 people over to our house for brunch. It was a lot of work but fun. We had not entertained on that scale since we have been home (usually when we entertain we try to keep dinner numbers to 10 so it is civilized and because that is where I like it) and I had forgotten how much work it is to feed 21 people in the way I like to do it. Also, with two kiddos you do not have as much time for prep and set up- that is for sure! But it all worked out, Aaron really helped in the kitchen the night before after the kids went to bed so we had alot of the prework done by midnight and then I was up at 6am to get the rest of the stuff cooking etc. Everyone had a great time and lots of food, laughter, presents. And, Poppy Nick showed up after all! He was alone because Elizabeth chose not to attend but I was very glad he was able to make it because it means a lot to me and to the kids because they love him lots. 

Also, Saturday was the third anniversary of my Mom's aneuroysm. I cant believe it has been 3 years and I still miss her this much. The limbo time (the horrid 32 days between March 28-April 30th 2006 while she was in a coma and then slipping away is harder still for me because I was there every day, all day and I think about it way way too often even now) but I need to remember that she was off in spirit searching for our children then and she found them because Sasha was born during that time. 

I made a small toast to her at the party but got a little choked up but I know she would have been happy to have been there and that she was there in spirit so that helped. 

On to happier things: 

It is so fun to see our kids play with their cousins now that they are less shy- they all get along well and hopefully that will continue. Now that Nas is the oldest grandchild we will see how it develops over time- I remember getting into ALOT of mischief with my cousins when I was a teenager, wonder if the same will happen..... 

Tomorrow is Sasha's actual birthday- which will be very very low key, just regular dinner (maybe a cake for dessert, though we are still munching through the baby cupcakes we had for the brunch) and a couple presents from us. I think we are all birthday fatigued at this point. 

Tomorrow is also the one year anniversary of when we received our referral. Yes, we got our referral on Sasha's second birthday. We had been up at Jane's condo at Mt Baker for a long weekend to celebrate Aaron's birthday- never thinking that we could possibly be missing anything up there in land of no cell phones and as we drove down the mountain our phones started ringing the second we hit range- our coordinator had been trying to track us down for hours and hours and was beside herself. See, we had been told 12-18 months for a referral of healthy siblings so we didnt bother to keep the agency posted as to whereabouts or anything like that, we didnt sit by the phone etc etc etc- it had only been 4 months (and barely that) since we turned in our dossier- we had no inkling we could possibly get a referral that fast. Anyway, it was a crazy day filled with calls to IA docs, emails sent to phones with pictures of the kids, talks about flights, visas etc and we ended up leaving 12 days later to go meet the babies! I remember so clearly having to pull over on the side of Hannigan road because I couldnt drive and listen to Jaimie tell us about the kids, sitting there on the highway and then getting pics texted to my phone because we were still 2 hours from home and I could not wait that long. Oh, it was a very very emotional day. I was so excited, scared, amped up, nervous, scared, happy, scared - you get the idea. I had not emotionally prepared for a referral at all- it blind sided us - so there was alot to get through in the 12 days before we left. :) 

And poor Aaron, his birthday is April 1 -- one day after Sasha's and I can tell you he isnt getting a party at all. And last year he lost out to getting ready to go to Russia.  I feel bad, he is a good husband etc but I told him forget it- maybe next year. Turning 34 isnt such a big deal, he says he is fine with it and hopefully that is true because there is no suprise party in the works. Between work and doing all the Sasha parties I just have had no time for anything of that nature. Poor Papa! 

More later, 

SKB

Sasha's Friend Party

Here is one super adorable shot of Sasha the other night and then there are some cute pics from Sasha's "friend" birthday at the Little Gym. This was the party that was co-hosted by Kate and Christopher and we celebrated Sasha and Esme's birthdays together. It was super fun! Sasha does look a little overwhelmed at cake time but overall he had a great time. 

More Later, 

SKB

The Dreaded "Talk"

Well, it finally happened - we had the first of many (I am sure) talks about the biological family today... Here is what went down. Nas has apparently been mentioning to Aaron recently that it is not "fair" that we hold baby Will. She said Will has Totya (Aunt) Jane and so we should not hold him. This is VERY typical - she is jealous. So Aaron mentions this to me at breakfast today after the kids have left the table to go play. We are discussing this and she is listening from where she and Sasha are playing in the living room. I get up to go downstairs to do my hair and when I come up the kids both come up to me and say "it isnt fair, dont hold Will". 

Now, I have not held Will in over a week - when I did very very briefly at his birthday party. But there have been a lot of birthdays and Sasha's is coming up so it is not suprising this is coming up now. I said, okay, lets all sit down and talk. They said they wanted to all get in our bed and talk there so we did. Nas started off that it wasnt fair that Will had Jane so didnt need me. I agreed that WIll belonged to Jane and Jane belonged to Will, just like she and Sasha were my babies and I belonged only to them. This seemed to placate her a bit. Then I asked her if she was mad that she and sasha were not here when they were babies and she said, "YES!" (I was pretty sure that was what was really wrong anyway) and so I said I was sad too that they hadnt been but that they had been born in another lady's tummy- the tummy lady (I just cannot use the term birth mother- I just cant) and that she loved them very much but was not their real mother so she had to take them to the baby home so their mama and papa could find them, because we wouldnt be able to find them anywhere else. I have no idea if this is the right thing to say but I have been reading about this and it seemed plausible so I went with it. I explained that we had a whole team out searching for them (plays off a book we read where something similar happens) and as soon as they found them we flew as fast as we could to come get them. We were also sorry we didnt find them as tiny babies but we love them so much that it is okay because we are all home and safe now. Then we talked about how far we went for them, Papa pulled out the atlas and we looked at Russia and Novo and Seattle and they got bored so we looked at baby home pictures (which they love to do) and they were happy and took off to play. 

Now I am sure this is the first of many many conversations about this- I guess it is good it is finally coming out but it is hard, all around. 

It is also hard because they obviously compare themselves to the other kids in the family and we just had this super fun big party at Poppy Nick's for Will's birthday and now we are not doing something similar for Sasha- Elizabeth is against it for reasons unknown and not understood by me. And now Pop isnt even coming to his birthday party (because of Elizabeth and her schedule and desire not to attend apparently)- so I am really concerned that my children will feel extra slighted, which is worse than the sting of the slight I already feel regarding this issue- which they don't know about at all. We will have a party at our house and it will be great and I hope Sasha sees that it is even better to be surrounded by those that love you whole heartedly but it sucks all around and has definietley strained things between my dad and I. I know HE loves Sasha but it is sometimes hard for him to make the right choices regarding situations like this- this is why it was so great when Mom was around, she acted as an appropriate social compass and made him slow down and realize what was really important, like grandchildren. 

They say that alot of adoption issues come up around birthdays so this is not a surprise but we shall see where it goes. Nas obviously thinks about this alot and Sasha takes his cues from her - so it could be an interesting month!